God will Reward What is Done in Secret
Matthew 6:6 “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
In 2015, I wanted to hold on to Mark 11:22, as I reflected on this, I wanted to grow in faith in preparations for the Canadian Summer Bible Conference. I felt I fell far short of growing in faith. Rather, I had been seeking to depend on my own power, rather than putting my faith in God. As a result, I had experienced a great many disappointments – particularly when failing to produce the Christmas movie. I thought as I was becoming older I was too tired to do anything. In other times I felt like I was exchanging God’s wisdom into foolishness as written in Romans 1:21-22. I thought many areas of my life had degraded – my relationship with my eldest daughter Elizabeth is at best sarcastic, I became short-tempered, I lacked heart to serve in God’s ministry in any capacity, and I had made many mistakes working place which led to a lack of confidence from the client. Because of this, I was let go from my job before Christmas.
Inwardly, I felt a loss of a holy desire, and gave in to my fleshly desires – having inappropriate thoughts towards a particular woman at the workplace. I harbored a critical mind towards co-workers in the ministry which I knew wasn’t right. I sought wisdom from YouTube videos in terms of apologetics to fight against the increasing secular world view. I wanted to rely on books (e.g. Rosaria Butterfield’s testimony) and articles to encourage me instead of seeking the truth in God’s word in the Bible. Then I became interested in American politics because of Dr. Carson’s entry into the American presidency. Yet as I reflected upon this, I felt that I was out of touch with my spiritual life because I sought the source of wisdom from outward things instead of having faith in God. I deserve a harsh rebuke or something worse because of my dark and ungodly mindset. But by God’s mercy, I can only thank the prayers of righteous people like Pastor Andrew, Misn. Luke Hong’s family, and my wife. I also thank God for the community at Montreal UBF, Misn. Pierre Jung’s family, and our co-workers of which I cannot name all of them who supported me. I also thank God for his provision in granting a new government job starting this Tuesday at Business Development of Canada (BDC).
As a whole, our ministry has changed to become more of a church with less of an emphasis on our original mission and calling to serve campus students. Still, the lamp of God persists for world campus mission. My wife Connie shares the burden of preaching on campus with other co-workers. Our high schoolers are transitioning to college ministry. And we have attempted to restore club status at McGill through Ruth and Sarah’s help. Campus mission is a very precious mission. This was affirmed by the passing away of Evan Nicholson, who was Pastor Andrew’s student for many years. I also appreciated his father Doug who helped renovate our Bible house. I realized that our community had helped this young man and his family to re-ignite faith in Jesus. Unfortunately, Evan fell victim by Satan to take his life. May the God of all comfort be with Pastor Andrew, and Doug Nicolson’s family.
In HBF ministry, many of our youth are transitioning from CBF to HBF. My daughter Danielle started HBF, and high school. Before she was intensely serious, but changed to become a silly girl. She recently said, “Bible study is sexy.” I don’t know how to take this. I could see that children’s development changes so fast and can quickly forget what they learned from CBF. This was a warning to me to fulfill my obligation as a father to teach my children to do what is right before God. (Dt 11:19) I thank God for Luke Jr, Misn Luke and Grace, Misn. Faith, and S. John to challenge our youth to grow in their faith through Wednesday presentations, Bible reading, fellowship and HBF camp for this mission.
In coming terms to my annual key verse, I chose Matthew 6:6. Jesus wanted his followers to have an authentic spiritual life. They were to be different from the religious leaders of whom lived to please people instead of having a genuine desire to please God. They sought human rewards instead of God’s reward. In light of this, I saw that I lived for my own pleasure instead of seeking God in secret and gaining true reward from heaven above. My hope in choosing this verse is to have a genuine prayer life to live to please God instead of my own sinful desire; that I may have a greater spiritual reward in God.
- Have 1-hour fellowship time with each of my 5 children and read Proverbs with them.
- Co-work with elders to prepare church guidelines (membership / marriage – dating)
- Have a spirit of being with students, HBF (including Matthew Chang) and co-workers and listen to them.
- Alone time in prayer and Bible study with God to develop the joy of spiritual discipline and bear the good fruit of faith.
- Part time student status at Concordia University
One Word: God Rewards Those Who Live Before Him in Secret